


Mac and Dennis Banged

by ttyrantt



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Frottage, M/M, bc im trash??? ya, charlie literally runs the hour it takes, during mac and dennis move to the suburbs, ghost of gay sex past too as well, literally kill me, slight ooc??? or major idk, sorry charlie, the nsfw part is like shittily written im sorry lort, this is my first always sunny fic end me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 03:21:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7342588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ttyrantt/pseuds/ttyrantt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>mac and dennis banged and with the help of their asshole friends, reflect on the situation<br/>oh yeah and charlie almost kills a hobo<br/>i suck at summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mac and Dennis Banged

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is my first always sunny fic and literally first fic im putting up on archive  
> it's probably very ooc, i literally just finished watching the whole series like 2 weeks ago?? smthn like that idk im bound to this fucking show please help  
> i just wanted a nonangst fic bc i stg mostly everyone who ships macdennis are like angsty ples calm down guys my heart hurts  
> its also kinda in the format of an actual episode sorry for the INCONVIENENCE  
> ANYWAYS enjoy my filth

**10:09 AM  
** **On a Thursday  
** **Philadelphia, PA  
**

Mac slowly but surely made his way down the terribly creaky stairs of he and Dennis' suburban home, disgruntled due to his early awakening. He ran a hand through his hair with furrowed brows, his memories of last night foggy. He groaned as he reached the last step, looking toward Dennis who was staring at his reflection with a confused expression. Mac accidentally kicked a can around the end of the step, one can of many, sending them all noisily toppling to the ground. Dennis didn't look away from the mirror. 

"Hey, Den. Did we have a party?" Mac asked, gazing upon the messy home, littered with beer bottles and cans. He wrapped himself up tighter in the blanket he came downstairs with to protect himself from the cold blasting from their expensive air conditioning. Dennis kinda grunted, examining his throat as Mac approached him slowly. "Dennis?"

"No Mac," Dennis said and Mac didn't question his knowledge of last night. Maybe he didn't drink as much. "No," he said again, his voice more distant than before. Mac, who was now a few inches away from Dennis, furrowed his brows quizzically. 

"What are you...?" Mac asked, and Dennis looked away from the mirror, setting it down beside him and looked at Mac instead. Which, to Dennis' avail, made it easy to see exactly _what_ Dennis was looking at in the mirror. Which was a plethora of different sized hickeys. "Where did you get those," he asked, pointing in Dennis' general direction. Dennis looked up at him, his eyebrows raised high, a knowing look on his face.

"You." 

**"Mac and Dennis Banged."**

*** * ***  


Dennis impatiently shoved the door of the bar open, tightening the scarf around his neck and making his way behind the bar at Paddy's Pub in order to properly complain to the poor soul who was there forced to listen. It was Dee.

"I swear to God if I get caught behind one more old person I'm murdering them in cold blood! You'd think that since they're old they'd drive faster! They're going to die anyways, why not hit 100 on the highway!?" 

Dennis complained, half shouting and gesticulating fluidly as he pulled a beer out and uncapped it, sipping from it nonchalantly after his breathless ranting. Dee rolled her eyes, obviously too tired to put up with his bullshit. But Mac wasn't here so there was no one to calm him down other than her. And if he didn't calm down he'd scare away everyone there. She tried not to take notice of his white knuckled grip on his beer and more on his scarf because that was suspicious. 

"Yeah okay that's great, hey, uh, what's with the scarf?" She asked, raising her eyebrows and Dennis cocked a brow, setting his beer down on the countertop.

"I have no what you're talking about," he said casually, attempting to play off the fact that he's hiding the bruises on his throat. 

Dee didn't take that for an answer. She crossed her arms. "Yes you do! Don't lie to me," she said, fighting the urge to grab it and pull it off herself. 

"It's none of your business, _Deandra._ " He stood his ground using her full name, not her nickname. And that was some line crossed because she grabbed the scarf and ripped it off of Dennis, slamming it on the bar countertop in one motion that caught Dennis way off guard. 

"Dee what the hell!" Dennis shouted, reaching for his scarf for it only to be moved out of his reach. 

"Charlie! Catch!" 

Dee threw the scarf to Charlie who was sweeping and Dennis watched as it limply flew through the air, sadly flopping to the disgusting bar floor.

Nowhere near Charlie.

Dennis scrambled to get after the scarf, throwing himself over the bar countertop, knocking over a couple of empty bottles Dee never cleaned up and a poor napkin holder who never saw it coming. But sadly, as if Charlie foresaw this happening with baited expression, he dropped his broom and ran to the scarf right after Dennis kicked the napkin holder over. Charlie grabbed the scarf up off the ground as Dennis made it over the bar countertop and stared at him like a deer in headlights. 

"Run, Charlie! Run!" Dee shouted, pointing towards the door furiously but before Dennis could comprehend what Charlie was going to do, Charlie was already out of the door, slamming it behind him. God knows where the hell he's going.

Dennis reached out to him helplessly, "ah fuck," he breathed, turning towards Dee. "Are you happy, now!? The scarf is gone! Congratulations! I'm probably never seeing it again." 

Dee waved him off, "It’s summer, you don’t even need a scarf. Now tell me why you were wearing it!" She said, and Dennis stepped up to her, the hickeys along his throat more apparent. Dee shrugged it off, but Dennis gestured toward his throat to show that it was in fact the hickeys. 

"Alright! You banged someone. So what?" She asked, praying to god it doesn't go further than that because she doesn't want to hear about her brother's sex life. But Dennis sighed exasperated. 

"I didn't bang just anyone I banged-" he started, but Frank walked in from the back before he got to the name. Classic movie trope he never enjoyed but Mac did. Mac...

It just hit him that he ran out on Mac during his gay panic to get to work. Well, of course he did! He couldn’t just be late. And he didn’t have time for Mac to yell and yell about how terrible it was that he banged a dude even though there was absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. Mac was gay for Christ's sake. 

"What the is all the yellin' about," Frank said, walking toward them with opened arms, "and where the hell did Charlie go?" And Dee waved him off.

"Shut up Frank, I think Dennis and Mac finally had sex," she said and Dennis took a step back because how did she know? How the _hell_ did she know? 

"Whoa! Hey, you and Mac bang?" Frank asked, catching sight of the hickeys on Dennis' throat. "They banged!" 

Dee groaned slamming her hands on the countertop. "Dammit! Charlie owes me 50 bucks and I just sent him off with the scarf!" She complained, and Dennis couldn't fucking believe. 

"He owes me 20," Frank added, "let's go get the bastard." And Dennis stepped in on their questionable betting. 

"You and Frank bet on my relationship with Mac?!" Dennis asked, his voice higher in pitch. He decided upon settling down, even though he was slightly irritated. "No, you know what that's not the question I want to ask. How did you know!?" 

Dee and Frank looked at each other, their laughter loud and jarring and Dennis got frustrated. 

"C'mon, tell me!" 

"We know you and Mac are in love with each other, don't play dumb." Frank said, and Dee nodded. "Yeah, I'm surprised you two haven't banged yet. Have you two not banged before?" 

"No!" 

"There's no way." 

"Shut up! Okay, we banged! For the first time!" Dennis shouted, wishing the ground would just give way or he could just disappear. Just for a second. A moment where he could take time to think about it himself like he should've in the car ride here. "But I'm not in love with him or anything."

"Yeah you are," Frank said, and Dennis sighed.

"You guys can't spend 5 minutes away from each other, you're literally always together! You have movie nights together, you eat out together every month! Mac peels your apples for you, Jesus Dennis I know you're not the smarter one but anyone could see that you two are in love!" 

Dennis did his best to ignore the insult, he was beat there. He was totally in love with Mac. Or, what he perceived as love. He's never felt love truly but Mac makes him feel...alive. Like a human being. It has to be some form of love probably.

"I ran out on him," Dennis stated absentmindedly, and Frank and Dee looked at him questionably.

"What do you mean," Dee asked and Frank made a confused 'huh'.

"He was having a crisis about fucking me and I ran out," he said, and Dee made a disgusted sound with the newfound knowledge of who fucked who. Frank was more worried about the situation than the reason for the situation.

"Dennis! That's awful, go back home! Go! Comfort him!" Frank said urgently and Dennis nodded hastily, quickly making his way out of the bar. 

Maybe this time he won't get stuck in traffic.

*** * *  
**

Mac jumped when he heard a sudden knocking on his door. His craving for human interaction after having a nervous breakdown trumped his anxiety over who it could be. Through various bits and pieces the night came back to him, and he was 100% aware that he fucked Dennis and he was 100% sure Dennis wasn't going to want to talk to him forever. And kick him out of the house. Sometimes he wished he wasn't such a fuck up.

He stepped around a smashed bottle on the ground and towards the door, flinging it open. 

"Mac! Mac let me in!" Charlie shouted as he shoved past Mac, scarf in hand. And Mac let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't Dennis but he felt terrible over the fact that it wasn't Dennis as well. He pushed his conflicting feelings about Dennis down as he always did. 

"Charlie, what the hell happened!?" Mac asked, crossing his arms over his chest after he shut the front door. He waited patiently as Charlie caught his breath, his hands on his thighs. "Did you- did you run all the way here?" 

Charlie nodded, a pained expression on his face. "It's a lot farther away than I thought, but Dee told me to run," he said, sitting up straight. "I got the scarf!" And Mac cocked his head to the side a bit.

"The- The what?" Mac asked, reaching for the scarf only to have Charlie jerk it away from him. 

"No!" He shouted, before apologizing quietly.

Mac furrowed his brows, "what's going on?" He asked, stepping away from the front door and towards the couch to sit down. Charlie joined him, setting the scarf down on the coffee table. 

"Well first, I'm gonna need a ride back to the bar because I'm not running back," he started and Mac nodded. "Alright, so, I'm standing there sweeping vomit off of the floor because Cricket drank too much tequila, so my day was starting off terrible already I mean honestly-"

"Charlie, man I'm sorry but I don't care. What's with the scarf?" 

Charlie rolled his eyes, "I'm getting to it! So I'm sweeping and Dennis comes in yelling about old people or something, I dunno I tuned him out because I don't want to hear him yelling about killing the poor people in the traffic line." But Mac didn't really hear the part about the traffic, he was more focused on the Dennis part because his heart skipped a beat and his breath faltered and- god he's in too deep.

"So Dee throws this scarf at me and yells something, but it doesn't land anywhere near me! So Dennis is on top of the bar counter and I'm running to the scarf," he takes a deep breath, looking at the scarf on the coffee table. "I grab it and Dennis looks at me like he's about to shoot me and Dee is yelling and I'm scared so I start running out of the door and I swear Dennis is behind me so I'm running and running and half way down the street to the bar I trip and I fall so I'm laying there," Charlie continued but Mac wasn't listening.

He was thinking more about Dennis, God, Dennis. He knew deep down that he loved Dennis, he's loved Dennis ever since he sold weed to him in high school for fucks sake. Of course he bottled up those feelings because his religion completely denies that he should even think about doing ANYTHING with another man. But goddamn he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Dennis, he wanted to be Dennis' everything. And to him, under any circumstance, Dennis is more important than what his belief says. 

"Next thing I know this hobo is trying to bite me,” Charlie says, and Mac is sure he’s missed most of the story already. “So I'm kicking him off of me and I can see your house in the distance I swear! So I start barking and I surprise us both, but in the act I manage to get away. I'm running and running and I hear hobo Joe behind me yelling but I don't look behind me," Charlie says, gesturing all over the place. "And I swear I thought he was following me, so that's why I was in such a hurry to get inside!" He takes a deep breath and Mac nods slowly.

"Okay, alright," he starts, rubbing his hands together. "Except, what about the scarf again?" And Charlie groaned.

"Dee wanted to know why Dennis was wearing a scarf, so she took it." Charlie shrugged, "not sure why, you don't think he was hiding anything, do you?" He asked and Mac's face flushed at the slightest. 

"I dunno dude," he lied. Terribly. Charlie didn't buy it. 

"Oh my god Mac what'd you do? Did you finally strangle Dennis and he has a mark now or something?" He asks and Mac urgently shook his head.

"No! Well, I don't know!" He shouted, exasperated as he buried his face in his hands and Charlie furrowed his brows.

"What's wrong dude?" 

"I think Dennis and I fucked. I mean, I know we fucked and I think I ruined our friendship. He hates me I know he does!" 

"You banged Dennis!?"

"Yes!" Mac shouted, running his hands through his hair. "I'm such a fuck up!"

"Shit," Charlie muttered, "I owe Frank and Dee a lot of money.”

Mac slapped him on the arm, "you bet on my relationship with Dennis!" He shouted, and Charlie rubbed the spot on his arm. "You, Dee, Frank, and Dennis bet on a children's basketball game! Don't play the blame game!" 

"Wait, you didn't think Dennis and I would bang?" 

"No I knew you would. I just didn't think it'd be that soon." He shrugged, "wait wait, you think Dennis hates you?" 

"Yeah, obviously!"

"Shut up dude! Dennis doesn't hate you! C'mon!" Charlie said, nudging Mac, "he's in love with you he couldn't hate you!" 

Mac's heart did that fluttering thing again, "Dennis loves me?" He asked, his voice small and filled with unmistakable hope. 

"Uh, duh dude! Are you blind?" 

"No, of course not." 

"Well you must be because it's so obvious he loves you! Do you not pay attention to the way he looks at you? And the fact that he can't be without you?"

"Yeah...Yeah Charlie you're right!" 

Charlie smiled, patting Mac on the shoulder. "See! That's the spirit! C'mon dude, let's go talk to Dennis at the bar." 

Mac smiled, standing up and stopping Charlie from reaching for the scarf. "I think we can just- leave the scarf here buddy." He said with a concerned expression over Charlie's current infatuation with the scarf. Charlie nodded, "right...right..." He said distantly and Mac decided that it'd be a good idea to get him away from the scarf. So he started towards the door pulling Charlie along with him.

He flung the door open to see Dennis, running at him, not even realized that Mac was standing there. Mac screamed, pretty sure that this was his final resting place as Dennis ran right into him, knocking him over. Charlie screamed as well, running and grabbing the scarf before running out of the door. "You'll never get the scarf! Never!" Charlie shouted as he ran down the street. 

Dennis pulled his face away from Mac's chest, sitting up. "Christ! Jesus Christ! I-I think I just- I just broke my fucking nose. Why is Charlie here!? Jeesus!" Dennis complained, groaning. 

Mac placed his hand on his sternum, "dude- what the fuck! Why aren't you at the bar?" He asked, and Dennis put pulled his hands away from his nose which was bleeding at the slightest.

"I was coming here to talk to you, stupid!" He said as he wiped the blood out from under his nose, smearing it across his upper lip. Mac cocked his head to the side, his lips parted at the slightest as he pondered the situation.

"Wait, why were you coming here? Charlie and I were about to head there!" He said, and Dennis went to respond but faltered when he heard Charlie in the distance yelling at Hobo Joe. Dennis looked at Mac with furrowed brows and Mac looked at Dennis with a concerned expression. "Should we- Should we help him?" Mac asked, looking over Dennis and at Charlie, who was about to fist fight the old hobo man. 

Dennis thought about it for a second before shaking his head, "no. No let's just...leave it to Charlie." He said, scrambling to stand even though he was disoriented. He held his hand out for Mac to grab, hauling him up onto his feet. They both stood in the front door frame, watching as Charlie choked out the hobo with Dennis' scarf. Dennis watched with amused interest whilst Mac watched with utmost concern.

"C-Charlie! Charlie hey! Hey! Charlie stop strangling Hobo Joe!" Mac shouted, and Charlie looked dead at them before running off, scarf in hand. The hobo fell limply to the pavement. Dennis looked at Mac, "I think he's dead." He said, his voice low.

"Yeah. Yeah probably." Mac breathed, slowly stepping back into the house. Dennis followed suite, shutting the door. 

"Do...Do we call someone?" Dennis asked, about to say something else but was cut off by various groaning sounds from Hobo Joe. Mac sighed, relieved. "No, we don't have to." He said, grinning. And Dennis matched his grin, causing Mac's to falter. 

"Listen, Den about last night," he started, but Dennis cut him off, chasing those words with a slow kiss neither of them knew they were craving. Mac didn't hesitate to entwine his fingers within Dennis' hair, tugging on the curls gently and Dennis groaned into Mac's mouth, arching against him. 

Mac took note of Dennis' half hard cock pressing against his hip, pulling Dennis toward the couch, not breaking their contact. He flopped down on the couch when the cushions hit the back of his legs, bringing Dennis down with him. Dennis straddled Mac's lap, grinding against him as he placed wet kisses along Mac's throat, starving for contact.

Mac groaned, deep from within his chest as he fumbled with Dennis' belt in obvious haste. Dennis kissed the dark mark he just sucked on Mac's throat before he stood up, scrambling to get out of his pants. Mac watched with baited breath, untying the strings on his track pants, shoving them down his thighs and Dennis furrowed his brows. "You were fucking free balling this whole time?" He asked as he stepped out of his pants.

"Yeah bro, of course I was, I don't leave the house." He said, shrugging and Dennis sighed. 

"Fucking ridiculous," he breathed prior to kicking off his underwear and settling in Mac’s lap. "I mean I kinda understand if it's like the whole no sleeves thing. It must be comfortable," he paused to lick his hand, grabbing he and Mac's cock in one hand, slowly stroking them simultaneously. Mac let out a shuddery gasp, arching. "Den, fuck," he breathed and Dennis disregarded it, no matter how hot he thought it sound because holy fuck- "Mac," Dennis said on a groan, his voice low. He forgot where he was going with the infamous Free Ball Rant. 

His hand slid quick along their cocks, the urge to get off with Mac completely trumping the fact that he wanted to make this count. It's not like this wasn't their first sexual encounter. Mac fucked him last night for Christ's sake, so there was no reason to worry about making it special. Dennis twisted his hand along the tips of their cocks and Mac made some noise as if he'd been shot, pulling Dennis into a sloppy, uncoordinated kiss. Mac parted his lips at the slightest, letting Dennis tongue fuck his mouth, exploring the blissful warmth. 

Dennis pulled away at the slightest, leaving a trail of spit in his wake upon Mac's pretty mouth Dennis had always dreamed of kissing one day. And Mac made a low groaning sound in the back of his throat, "I'm- I'm gonna fuckin' cum, Den," Mac muttered urgently. Dennis grinned, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Mac's mouth. 

"Cum then, Mac," he said, his breath ghosting against Mac's face and Mac made some airy, breathy "ah" sound as he came across their stomachs and Dennis' hand, pulling Dennis into a kiss and grabbing his cock. He jerked him off quickly. It didn't take long before Dennis was writhing and bucking up into Mac's hand, coming across his fingers, Mac's name dying on his lips.

He rested his head on Mac's shoulder, panting against it and Mac stroked his disgustingly sweaty hair with his hand that didn't have cum on it. "Charlie says I'm in love with you," Mac started, and Dennis made a sound of protest. "No- no listen, Dennis. I'm in love with you, I don't care if that's what you don't want to hear because you don't feel emotions or some shit. But I'm in love with you.”

Dennis grunted. 

"I love you too." He said, plain and simple.

And of course, that wouldn't be enough to please the average person seeking love. 

But it means the world to Mac because Dennis loves him to whatever capacity he was capable of and that was good enough for Mac. 

Any kind of love from Dennis is good enough from Mac.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the shitty sappy ending lmao  
> tbh the nsfw ending had not been fixed/edited bc i was like really close to taking it out but left it in anyways SORRY  
> i'd like to thank my best friend julian for helping me with my garbage editing process  
> and also myself for being human garbage  
> [check out my tumblr if u want](http://www.jerksies.tumblr.com/)  
> 


End file.
